First 48 Pt. 1

Never think it can happen to you huh? Well I, too, were one of those people who never thought it could happen to me either. I watched “First 48” and “I Survived” faithfully. From those shows, I took away something horrible with me; the thought of me possibly going out like that one day. But it was a semi-jokingly statement that I always used to make, until last Friday night. (9/14/11)


Here is my story:


I am not the one to hang outside my neighborhood because of the activity that takes place outside. There are drug deals going on out in the open, smoking, and drinking, foul language, and even fist fights amongst family members in my surrounding units. I chose not to get involved or associate with it so my kids and I are confined to my house on a regular basis. For some profound reason, I felt like having a drink on my porch this particular evening. The night was young, the weather was nice, the kids were inside playing, and I was just enjoying my Friday night how I normally do; having a drink alone at home rather than in a raunchy club or rowdy bar. As I’m standing on the porch having my drink, I notice my neighbor pacing back and forth outside shouting random obscenities to himself, but loud enough that anyone inside could hear. This wasn’t outside of the norm for him to be high on crystal meth outside being loud, but his topic of self discussion raised an eyebrow for me. He would scream out how he has done nothing to nobody and that the “snitch” is gonna get it. Also how he didn’t need anybody over there (in our complex). I simply ignored it, thinking ‘he’s just high; once he comes down he’ll be alright.


So as I’m enjoying my drink outside alone, he paced past my door so I say my normal hello to him, although a little hesitant not to “disturb” his rant. He speaks back with no eye contact as he normally does when he’s high and keeps pacing and talking to himself about how angry he is at the world. By the time he got an audience (the other neighbors that he gets high with), he got even more irate with his obscenities. Although I was in the house by this time, I could still hear him outside of my bedroom window. Out of the norm for me, I happened to open the window this night for the nice fresh air that was outside so I could still hear everything.


So I’m carrying on about my night inside with the kids. It’s approximately 9ish and we’re plotting to get in my bed and order a movie on Demand for the night. I hear a knock at my door. It’s my cousin so I let him in and we chill for a bit. He’s a security guard near my house so he had just gotten off work and dropped by for a visit. So I visit with him for a bit and then meet the kids in my bedroom for our movie night. He goes outside to talk to the girls outside as he normally does. 

As I’m lying on the bed scrolling through Demand for a movie, the kids are lying on the bottom of my bed as well. Once we decided on our movie…Zookeeper, I got up to go turn out all of my lights in the living room because it was about 10pm. That is when I noticed something that is unacceptable and not allowed so carelessly in my home. It’s my cousin’s gun sitting on my couch. Yes it’s registered but there are also protocols and safety precautions when owning them and any gun lying around is not okay. Any gun, on safety, loaded or not, in UNACCEPTABLE sitting on my couch in my home; especially when I have two small children in the home. Hell, even I am scared of them.


So I go outside to pull my cousin inside to let him know that he needs to remove the gun from my couch and how it is unacceptable. He apologizes and promises to never do it again. I go back into my bedroom in the front of the house where my children are to finally rent the movie. While I was doing that, I hear the neighbor (who is on drugs) getting louder and louder. My initial gut instinct was to go get my cousin to come inside since I knew he was out there tripping like that. But for some reason I didn’t. I guess I was okay with the fact that he had been outside all this time without anything happening so I thought everything was okay. I kept muting the TV to try and hear exactly what the neighbor was saying but I couldn’t quite comprehend word for word. I just knew that his rants had gotten more intense.


I heard my neighbor confront someone directly in front of my window and that’s when I heard the punch. I could hear the skin on skin contact as well as how hard the blow, to what seemed to be his face, was. I immediately jump up to go open my front door to make sure my cousin came inside and not got involved in whatever family squabble they had going on outside. As I opened the door, I heard gunshots start to ring out and I instantaneously shut the door. In real time, only seconds went by. But in my mind, it seemed like minutes that I was standing at the door wondering if I should lock the door to keep my kids and me safe or leave it unlocked so that my cousin had a safe place to get to avoid the gunfire? As I was standing at the front door I heard the gunfire get fainter in distance. I cracked my door again to make sure my cousin got to safety from wherever he ran. I didn’t want him to get caught in the crossfire. When I opened the door this time, I saw my cousin chasing my neighbor out of the parking lot less than 10 feet behind him shooting his weapon repeatedly. From the crack in the door I screamed to my cousin, “*Insert name here* nooooooooooooooooooo.” I was praying to God that he didn’t kill this man. 

So I shut the door and drop to the floor. I could still hear faint gunshots. So I crawl back to my bedroom only a few feet from the front door to check on my children. I didn’t see my kids sitting on the bed anymore. I instantly panic when I notice that there was a hole the size of a tennis ball in my vertical blinds. I also notice brown smoke hovering in my room and I panic. Not seeing my kids sitting on my bed did something to my heart. I quickly scan the bed with my eyes for blood as I’m crawling to them in the corner. I imagined the impact of the bullet knocking them to the floor in the corner. So I’m crying and frantically crawling to the side of the bed that I think they’re on. I don’t hear any screams, any cries, nor do I see any movement but I notice that my kids are in fetal position on the floor. As I frantically crawl to them within 4-5 leaps but seemed like a lifetime for me, I’m praying on the way over to them, “Lord say it ain't so, please say it ain’t so Lord.” I feared the worst that my kids were either hurt or dead. Once I see that they’re not hurt, I just lay there and cry and thank the Lord for their safety and Calen’s natural instinct to grab Ava and get on the floor. It was nothing but God that my kids weren't in the room screaming. Had they screamed, I would have ran to them rather than crawled to them and the bullets could have hit me straight in the head.


My kids and I huddle in the corner on the floor until I think its safe to crawl to the bathroom for extra safety. My bedroom had been violated and I didn’t feel we were safe in there. So I lead the kids (still crawling) to the bathroom and we lock ourselves in there. As I sit there, I hear a knock on the door. I’m scared to answer but I crawl to the door asking “who is it?” It was one of my other neighbors (female) coming to check to see if we were okay. I let her in and lock the door behind me to figure out what the hell is going on outside? Even til this day I don’t remember what she said because my mind was still in a state of panic. I made her get down to the ground as well while inside my house. I was scared that another stray bullet would enter one of my windows at any given moment. So once she figure out we were okay, I escort her out of the door and lock it once again. I’m scared, in a panic, terrified, and just didn’t want anyone in my house at the moment. When I escort her out, I see my other neighbor at my door on the phone calling for help. I let her in and lock the door again. We could hear the police in the distance and I could see the helicopter lights shining in my windows. Still in a state of panic, that didn’t calm me down at all. I just sat there and cried on her shoulders about what could have been.


When the police get there, she goes back outside and I lock the door behind her. The nervousness I felt and the vulnerability was unexplainable. All I knew is that I felt safer with the door locked; from my cousin and my neighbors. I’m just waiting for the police to come to my door to get my story. My phone is ringing off the hook with people in relation to my cousin asking what happened and telling me what to say and what not to say to the police. I’ve never been through anything like this so I didn’t know that even when its family, I had to be given a spiel on what to say to the police?!? My safety seemed to be on the back burner during these conversations and my spiel took precedence. I’m in my house hysterically crying and damn near screaming and folks are calling my phone to figure out what I’m going to tell the police…..WTF???


Anyway, my kids are still locked in the bathroom as I frantically try and figure out what’s next? I hear a knock on my door. I have some sense of relief that it could finally be the police, but then the nervousness of being the “snitch” in a neighborhood that seriously looks down on that. As I walk to the door and ask “Who is it?” no one answers. But I’m still walking toward the door thinking they didn't hear me. I hear my neighbor (the one that got ran up out of the parking lot by my cousin’s gunfire) at the door yelling and screaming. When I first heard his voice I literally said out loud “OMG, he’s still alive?” When I hear him yelling, I can tell he’s arguing with the female neighbors that came to check on me.  I didn't know what they were saying at the time but I could tell the girls were making him even angrier. I could hear him standing at my door ranting things like “fuck you bitch, don’t talk to me. This has nothing to do with you, fuck you. Shut the hell up. Fuck you, fuck you.” That’s all I could hear him yelling was the ‘fucks’ and the ‘bitches.’ I could hear the girls screaming and yelling but I couldn't comprehend what they were saying. So my fear set in again and something wouldn't allow me to open the door. He eventually walks away. I get to my phone and call Ava’s dad to tell him what happened and that we are coming to stay the night there because we’re scared.


So I’m inside packing a bag but still waiting on the police to come and question me. I’m staying on the phone with Ava’s dad for some type of comfort. And that’s when I hear the knock on the door again. Ava’s dad tells me to look out the window this time to make sure it’s the police. When I peak out of my daughters window, the police and the helicopter are gone….WTF???? So once again, this crazy ‘crystal methed out’ neighbor is knocking at my door and I’m terrified. I don’t know what he wants??? Does he have a gun??? Is he’s angry at me, or what??? I could hear him once again screaming at the neighbors again so I continue packing and ignore the door. At first I wasn’t going to grab any clothes but Ava’s dad insisted I did. Luckily I did because that bought me time to leave the premises when it was safe for me to do so. I’m scared to call the cops back to the house out of fear of not only ratting out my cousin for shooting first (from what I hear), but telling on the neighbors who have prior convictions and would instantly go to jail. I knew they would retaliate and my life would be in danger. So I mind my business, pack, and leave when it’s safe.


As I ran to the car with the kids (yes, literally RAN!!!), I noticed the cracked out neighbor arguing outside with one of the girls to the point that the men had to hold him back from jumping on her. I didn’t care, I saw my chance to get up out of there and I took it.  I had to think about my children since apparently no one in that neighborhood has any mental power to do so. 


On my way to safety, I call the girl that was outside to see what was going on and that’s when she told me that the neighbor was after me since it was my cousin who was involved. Being that he couldn’t get to my cousin, I was the next closest thing/person for him to attack. Come to find out he was standing at my door talking about he felt like slapping a bitch and taking off on someone. The girls were outside screaming to me, Tasha don’t open the dooooooorrrrrrrr. 



To Be Continued……………