R.I.P. to Ava's MOUF

"Hurry up, Ava. Get in the car, other parents are waiting behind me."

"I am [hurrying]!"

*She hops in the car.*

"No you weren't. I watched you walk slowly to the car as if you didn't see me."

She knows I hate how inconsiderate the other parents are in the drop off circle - every parent's nightmare- so I always tell my kids to hurry so that we're never the cause of the very traffic that annoys me.

"I saw you," she says, sharply.

"Well next time, walk faster. You were walking so slow."

"No I wasn't."

*I'm driving away from the drop-off circle by this time, but still in mid-dialogue about her slothfulness*

"Ava, I watched you walk slowly and like this towards the car," as I motioned a zig-zagged, snake-like pattern.

"Well, I'm IN the car now!" as if she was telling me to shut the eff up!

R.I.P to Ava's MOUF!!!

#Avanisms

Oh, I got your Avanisms, alright!

"MOMMY, I'm Bleeding, Heavy!"

Those are not the words you want to hear your 8-year-old daughter shout at you while you’re in the shower.

When I looked in her direction, I saw her foggy profile through the glass door and she was standing there, impassive; very stagnant. The distress in her voice didn’t match her stance so I became very concerned. I didn’t see any visual blood so my mind began racing.

“WHERE?”

She points downward........

“WHERE?????”

The second time, I asked with a little more urgency to rule out what I thought it was. Panic started to occupy my thoughts before she could even answer again. In that immediate moment at least 20 questions went through my head in about .5 seconds.

How?

Isn’t she too young?

What am I supposed to do, now?

There is no way this is happening?

Please, tell me this ISN'T happening?

Those were just some of the first thoughts. But, leave it to my dramatic, wildflower of a child, Ava, she was actually pointing down at her foot! Her motionless posture was to avoid tracking blood on the floor!

WHEEEWWWWW, I DODGED THAT BULLET!!! She's ONLY 8!!! I know it can happen, but I sure wasn't ready for it today!!!

Undoubtedly, this goes into the category “heart-stopping” moments in motherhood.

#JesusFixIt #NotReadyYet #SlowDown