Diaries

I don’t have much to blog about lately.
Or, actually, I do.
But I am choosing not to share much right now.

Lately, I’ve found myself doing more listening, than talking…..or writing.
At times I’ve gone through jealousy stages of not being further along in my own projects, but I know sometimes I'm very content with where I’m at.
That's what I'm learning.
I'm experiencing the joys of editing more than writing.

I know that I am my own worst critic.

I lose my thoughts, a lot, and it’s frustrating.
Very.
At times I feel like I share too much.
Other times, I feel like I share too little.
I debate, often, where is the healthy balance?
Where do I draw the line?

I do forget that I have a blog to write freely.
This is my safe-haven.
With no judgement.
But the more people I share it with, and the more followers I gain, I tend to close up even more.

My blog is like a diary to me.
It contains puzzles that only I can decode.
And certain times I don’t want people to figure them out.

When I look back at old posts…. it brings back memories that I’ve already dealt with.
Some made good stories and some reminded me of situations and relationships that I’ve overcame.
Some of the memories I don’t want to re-live over and over again.
Do I have to revisit those moments, again???

Some diaries are meant to stay private.
All depending ont he persons progress.

I read some stories from my blogs and smile at how far I’ve come.
Other stories I read in disbelief.
Some I giggle at in embarrassment.

But they’re all my memories.

I also have so many journals that I can’t even keep up with.
A drawer full of them.
And I utilize every one of them.
Often.

But they’re categorized.
It’s the OCD in me.
I hate it.

Each of them represents a certain mood.
Each mood, I’m compelled to pull out a specific journal.

I’d love to, #OneDay, pull out an “all purpose” journal.
One where I can share every thought to over cross my mind.