I Annoy Myself

The last two months, I’ve tried not to use Facebook as my forum to complain about my #CrutchLife. I avoided social media when I was having my pity parties, which are better to have ALONE anyway. Besides, what is the point of me posting countless statuses (or pictures) about the pain, discomforts and frustrations I was feeling? That’s my not my style.

Now, don’t get me wrong…..I may have posted one or two. ;)

Anyway, my point is, I have annoyed myself so much during this time alone. I literally had to ask someone for EVERYTHING!!!! Even something as small as a drink of water. That can get very annoying; asking for help all the time.

My kids got tired of me calling their name. They gave me attitude and negative body language more than I should’ve allowed them to, but I let them have that….I’m sure it was annoying for them, too. Now I could be the typical mom and say as much as they called my name, or as much as I’ve done for them, they owe me this and they need not to complain…which I did, sometimes!

But it still didn’t help rid my annoyance. I felt so helpless but really tried to avoid as much as I could to ask for another thing. I even annoyed myself with calling their names.

I have been beyond bored lying on my couch doing nothing. You would think with all the time I had, I would’ve utilized it to write or do something productive. But I was so uninspired the entire time. I jotted down notes, phrases and ideas, but never executed any of them. All I could focus on is the things that I could’ve been doing if I wasn’t disabled. How annoying, right?

Even through my temper tantrums and pity-parties of one, I am very thankful to have had the help I’ve received thus far, especially from my parents. They had to put up with a lot.

One good thing that has come out of this time is me acknowledging all of the things that I’ve taken for granted. I can certainly say this time has been my “aha moment.” I have always been a homebody, not wanting to go anywhere….even putting off trips to the store out of pure laziness. As I sat here the last month and a half, I kept saying to myself that I will not do that anymore. I made a pact with myself to do things when I think of them, rather than jotting them down in my notebook as a "to do" item the “next time I’m out.” Instead, I will focus on doing things in a more immediate manner….just because I can and have the ability to.

I’ve also made a promise to myself to enjoy the outdoors a little more with the kids. For me, that is very challenging. Y’all already know. My couch and TV was enjoyment enough for me. Now, it’s annoying.

So less of THIS:

and more of THIS:

So I will see how this goes. *dun, dun, dunnnnn*