I’m not sure whether to call this my ‘aha moment’, an epiphany,
or a pre-midlife crisis? Whatever you call it, I am hitting an unfamiliar stage
in parenting. Maybe it’s because my little girl is going through something that
can be so detrimental to her future. She’s only 5 and already going through the
“I feel ugly” stage and is never satisfied with herself. It is breaking my
heart to watch her be so unhappy with herself. Five is a very young age to have
to go through that. It’s like she did a compete 180. Before, I couldn’t keep
that girl out the mirror and from in front of my camera. She even took self
portraits. But now she feels so unworthy of herself sometimes and I can’t take
it.
I try to do everything to help her through it by telling her
constantly that she’s beautiful, or doing things like letting her pick out her own
clothes or letting me know how she wants her hair done. I’ve even done some
styles that I don’t care for, but as long as she feels good about herself, that
makes me happy. At first I thought she was just being a picky little girl going
through this diva stage but I realized it was more serious than that. I have
noticed as well as one of my girlfriends noticed that she is just so self
conscience about herself right now. It doesn’t help that after a 3 day fever,
she got a fever rash all over her body so her skin began to peel leaving her
with a dry flaky residue everywhere. I can tell it’s bugging her because she
constantly talks about it and picks at her skin.
Another instance is when she came to me crying saying that
Calen doesn’t love her and he thinks she’s ugly. So I got upset and was about
to fuss at Calen. I have been getting on him lately about picking on her and
always laughing at her because she hates it. But when he said he told her no
such thing I asked Ava where she got that from? She responds with, “I just know
he’s thinking it in his head.” These are
the types of things that she has been going through for some months now and no
matter what I say, she still thinks she’s not good enough nor feels loved. So I
have been paying real close attention to her and trying to figure out things I
can do to help her feel good. Last week her Auntie Kindra came over and did her
hair in her favorite style….braids and beads. Anything to make her feel good at
this point, I’m trying.
How can a beautiful girl like this feel so ugly and what can
I do to help?
That is so young. Has anything changed in her routine, did a kid at school say something mean? Ava is beautiful. I feel bad she is thinking this way. I think you're taking the right steps, you're aware and your encouraging her in a healthy way. Denise
ReplyDeleteIt just breaks my heart to hear that this beautiful baby feels that way. my first thought is that some kid in school is making her feel like that. If you have the ability to, I would go down to the school and check on her during her classes. maybe talk to the teacher and see if she's noticed anything? I went through this when I was her age in it was because kids were teasing me at school.
ReplyDeleteThank you Denise and Kelly.
ReplyDelete@Kelly, I asked her about the kids at school as well as showed up one day and of course saw nothing. I just think its a number of things all at once and its to much pressure on her. I'm well aware of the lasting effects it could have on her and that's why I'm so concerned. Were you this young when it started though?