I’m holding myself accountable. Whatever God has for me, I will eventually realize IT'S FOR ME!
Want the truth? Well, here it is....
Real life stories from Natasha, herself!
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Sunday, October 30, 2016
What's for Me?
I’m holding myself accountable. Whatever God has for me, I will eventually realize IT'S FOR ME!
Friday, September 16, 2016
The Lucky Necklace By: Ava Simone Kirk
Monday, September 5, 2016
Brandy - Right Here (Departed)
To paint a smile on my face and act like I don't see it?
I'm right here.....and I see it all.
All I'm saying is I wish I received that public support that you so freely give to everyone else.
I'll never be ok with it.
And, in all honesty, it sucks that I have to run to my blog to express myself. But, I've already articulated myself well enough to you and it still seems to fall on deaf ears. Yet, you wonder why I feel so alone?
Actions speak louder than your private words to me.
IT'S EMBARRASSING.
But let me go run along now. I have nachos to make for my daughter and a book to finish writing.
Sunday, June 12, 2016
Regrouping
> Secondly, even though I lost some friends behind it; friends whom I thought were some of my closest allies, it really opened up my eyes to other relationships that were toxic and I had to make decisions to let them go for good. I will always be cordial with said people, even pray for them, nonetheless, I will no longer allow them to take up too much more of my time with uncertainties on where we stand.
> Getting the courage to write that public letter was so freeing. I feel like I finally reached a point in my healing where there is no turning back. Having to no longer live in shame and humiliation of this secret overpowers all reservations I had and it allowed me to unapologetically be honest by admitting how I still struggle with it. I have accepted that there will be days I have breakdowns and triggers that I cannot control or haven't mastered, yet. Even the whole Brock Turner story was a trigger for me.
> Finally, what I did learn with my most recent meltdown is that having these minor setbacks doesn’t mean I’ve regressed in my progress. I just have to learn to regroup and pick up where I left off when the time is right.
> Forgiveness seems to be my biggest hurdle at the present moment. Not just with him, but with others. I know I have pained folks to no end with my episodic breakdowns and discussions of the situation. I’m sure it even got on some people’s nerves. Hell, I was even told that it seems that I want to stay in a place of pain so I can have reasons to be angry. That is so far from the truth. This doesn’t feel good and I don’t like being here; I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.
> Today’s sermon referenced Luke 22:31 about how Satan’s desire is to have me so that he may ‘sift me as wheat’; meaning scrutinize me to the point of a back and forth struggle to keep me out of the will of God. A big portion of my life has been a back and forth with this issue. One day I feel I have forgiven, and other times I realize I haven’t. The preacher then begin to tell her own story of forgiveness with a particular person that took her over 15 years. When I say I heard every word spoken, I soaked it all in. It was right on time, too.
> Before I go, I want to acknowledge a few of my friends who got me through last week when I was being so hard on myself thinking I had failed. Alma, Marlon and Danielle….thanks to the three of y’all for what you don’t even realize you did. You gave me optimism and confirmed that you will always have my back. I love y’all for that. Your friendship is unwavering.
Tuesday, March 1, 2016
Dear James
Whatever it takes, I will get better, trust!
Wednesday, December 30, 2015
He Was In The Room
I spent the last two weeks crying & worrying enough about it so much that on the actual day of surgery, I was pretty calm. I didn’t really cry like I thought I would. The night before, my mom prayed over me (as I sobbed out of fear) and the morning of, my brother, Jr, sent me a prayer via text. After that, I was just chillin and counting down the hours.
I knew He was there because I felt Him. I wanted to turn my head and look at Him, but I couldn't. I immediately was put at ease with the touch to my shoulders and went to sleep.
That peace and comfort felt soooooo good! (And, NO, it wasn’t just the drugs….LOL).
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
By Myself
And I have to get out of that way of thinking.